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Animal jokes

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Like an Old Salt

 There's this fella with a parrot. And this parrot swears like an old salt, I mea...

A Bear and a Rabbit

 A bear and a rabbit are taking a dump in the woods. The bear turn...

A Snail That Wanted to Buy a Nissan

 There once was a snail that wanted to buy a Nissan Z car. So, he ...

A Male Whale and a Female Whale

 A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they n...

The Dog's Duties

 A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one da...

Desert Outpost

 A Captain in the foreign legion was transferred to a desert outpost. On his orie...

This Dog is a Genius

 A butcher in his shop, and he's real busy, and he notices a dog in the shop. He ...

Your Dog is Dead

 A man rushed into the veterinarian's office carrying his dog, thoroughly distrau...

Animal Super Bowl

 During the Super Bowl, there was another football game of note between the big a...

The Nonconformist Bird

 There once was a nonconformist bird that decided not to fly south for the winter...

Don't Lie to Mom

 A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole a...

Elephant Time

 A young man is wandering around the zoo looking at the animals. He suddenly reme...

Don't Kick the Animals, Man

 A boy awoke and wanted breakfast so he told his mother. She said, "Not until you...

Penguins Go to the Zoo

 A man drives to a gas station and has his tank filled up. The gas pumper spots t...

Three-Legged Race

 One day a traveling salesman was driving down a back country road at about 30 mp...

Elephants

 Q: What do you know when you see three elephants walking down the street wearing...

A Book About the Elephant

 Every nation has to write a book about the Elephant: The French b...

Get Away From My Deer

 It was Saturday morning as Jake, an avid hunter, woke up ready to go bag the fir...

A Fish Watching a Fly

 There was this fish, and this fish was watching a fly, the fish wanted the fly t...

The Captive

 DAY 752 My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling obje...

Running Shoes

 Two guys in a jungle come around a corner and meet a lion head-on pawing the gro...



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