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Drunken jokes

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All The Guys on This Side

 A guy walks into a bar. He's a rather large, menacing chap. He chugs back a beer...

Drunk Driver

 A policeman pulls over a driver for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway....

Fall-Down Drunk

 A man, whose level of drunkenness was bordering on the absurd, stood up to leave...

Tell me the Name

 After a hot, hard day's work Joe went into a bar to quench his thirst. He walked...

Drinking Buddies

 There once were two Irishmen, named Shawn and Pat, who were the best of friends....

Such a Proposition

 The man at the bar, deep in private thoughts of his own, turned to a woman just ...

Martooni

 A lady walks into a bar and says, "Barkeep, gimme a martooni." The barte...

It Opens at Noon

 At 3 AM a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy asking what time th...

The Morning After

 Bob woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a pounding headache, co...

New FDA Alcohol Warnings for Booze Bottles

 Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. <...

A Lake Made of Beer

 Two men were out fishing, when they found a lamp floating in the water. One of t...

Twenty Push-ups

 A drunk staggers into a bar demanding a beer. The bartender informed him that he...

A Professional Gambler

 During the Great Depression, there was a man who walked into a bar one day. He w...

Looking for my car

 A drunken man was wondering around the parking lot of a bar, bumping into then r...

Ball squeezer

 Two drunks went into a bar and had a few beers. One got up and went into the bat...

Crunchy bird

 "Hey, bartender," says a customer, sitting at the bar. "What kind of bird is tha...

Free drinks and more

 A Polak, an Italian and an Irishman got out of work and were deciding where to g...

Fairground Food

 A man in a state of excessive inebriation rolled up at a fairground rifle range ...

Free nuts

 A guy walks into a bar and notices he's the only one there, apart from the barke...

Beer Troubleshooting

 SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet. FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.

Who likes women?

 A man walks into a bar one night and asks for 3 drinks. The bartender asks the m...



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