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Holiday jokes

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z


Between Holidays

 A lady walks into a tattoo parlor and asks the artist if she can get two tattoos...

Nice Bike

 On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next ...

Singing Christmas Parrot

 There was a man who wanted to find the perfect gift for his wife. He went to the...

A White House Christmas

 Twas the night before Christmas and throughout the White House, Al Gore wa...

Three Wise Women

 Do you know what would have happened if it had been Three Wise Women instead of ...

A New Christmas Tradition

 One particular Christmas a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual...

Christmas in the New Millenium

 As a little boy climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what would...

Forgive Me Sister

 A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won't stop st...

Twick or Tweat

 One Halloween this woman opens her door to find the most adorable little girl, w...

A Masked Halloween Party

 A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. She got a terrible head...

How to cook a Turkey

 - Go buy a turkey - Take a drink of whiskey (scotch) OR JD - Put tur...

Pedos Love Halloween

 Q: Why do pedophiles love Halloween so much?...

Little Angel

 One Halloween this woman opens her door to find the most adorable little girl, with golden blond curly hair and the biggest blue eyes....

Costume Mix Up

 A couple was getting ready to go to a Halloween party but the wife had a terrible headache. She told her husband to go anyway. After a short argument he agreed, and she took some aspirin and went to bed....

Chance Meeting

 A woman whose husband often came home drunk decided to cure him of the habit. One Halloween night, she put on a devil suit and hid behind a tree to intercept him on the way home....

Just a Costume

 A nun gets into a cab and the cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why is he staring and he replies, "I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you."...

Gotta Go, Gotta Go

 Santa Claus makes his way down the chimney, and is met by a lovely young woman in a robe....

Early Shopper

 It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?"...

Santa isn't connected

 As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what would you like for Christmas?"...

Carols

 Three men die in a car accident Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the pearly gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering they must present something "Christmassy" to show they remember the holiday, or off to hell they go. ...

The Three Wise Men

 In a small Southern town there was a "Nativity Scene" that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it. One small feature bothered me. The three wise men were wearing firemen's helmets. Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left....



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